I'm reading a book called "Just Enough Light for the step I'm on" - by Stormie Omartian. Just what I need right now. Making decisions (and choices) about my life is not something I've ever really been accustomed to - usually situations and opportunities just fall into my lap :) But in this season it seems that I have to be more self-disciplined, and more sensitive to His will, as well as just stepping out in the rivers of life. :)
Had a great talk yesterday with a friend of mine, about angels, and with angels :) and the like (you know me :) ) Anyways, it was very refreshing - and has been one of the tools God has been using to remind me about who I am, and whose I am. I am His, and I choose to walk with Him, and to be fully dependent on Him. - I know that means that I'm probably about to come up against a test, or am on the brink of one.. so I won't remind the enemy too many times ;) haha. But as Omartian writes, I say "Lead me in the path You have for me, Lord. From this day on I want to walk with You. I take this step of faith and I trust You to meet me here. Align my heart with Yours." (p.12)
And it's incredible how God has brought this book, and others, and certain people into my life in this new level season. She quotes Hebrews 11:8 about Abraham "went out not knowing where he was going". And you probably realize that this is 'the faith chapter' - where all the great men of faith are mentioned. I want to be a woman of God who walks by faith, like that. And I'm in a season where God is requiring it of me .. and I'm not very good at it. So it frustrates me because I know where I want to be at with it all.
Speaking of walking in the light, I have to quote my favorite verse of the last 6 months ... Proverbs 4:18 - But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.
Or another translation: The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
Oh .. just got this in my email, maybe it's for one of you - like it's for me :)
"Worrying people are never successful; when they are successful in anything, it is short lived because the spirit of worry will destroy it. Worry destroys success; people who worry are not successful for long.” – Pastor Chris Oyakhilome PhD. The Bible says count it all joy when you go through diverse test (James 1:2).
Anyways, blessings to all of you - and we'll talk soon :) May the God of love, and of our Lord Jesus Christ, cover you with His mercy and grace all the days you are walking Him. Stick to His path! it's the only way!! :) bless u.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Making Choices
This is the season, or part of what I’m currently dealing with in my life. I’m choosing to make decisions about my calling, future, and destiny as never before. About a week ago I was burdened by the choices that I need to make in my life - choices I cannot run away from. However, I realised a few days ago, that every minute of every day of our lives, we make decisions. Choosing what time to wake up, what job we do - or quit doing, how we spend our spare time - in-front of the computer, television, or reading - and what we choose to watch or read. Everything is so important, and so life defining, yet most of the time we (or I) take it for granted. I’m choosing to make better choices and seek after God’s perfect will for my life - and yet make the decisions determinedly. This life is mine, and no other’s, and so I must choose; because at the end of the day, I’m the one who’s left behind with the consequences. If I choose to run the race for the prize (eternal) or just take the walk in the park - that’s up to me. I choose to run, sprint, fight.
I can’t live ‘the easy life’ - whatever that is to you. For me, I want to be busy, using all of my time - squeezing the life, experiences, and relationships out of the minutes, hours and days that I have to use. I will not run away from anything, but choose to take the path away from, through, or around the experiences that are not beneficial to whom I become.
I choose to run to God’s glory, the race that only I can run. Your race is different than mine, I hope you find your way, direction and passion - and use it to the full! I will not sit back and wait for life to happen to me, rather I will fight for what I believe in, and to find where my heart fits in this world, that it may unlock others’ destinies, hearts, and lives. I hope to be a light in this world. I’m in a season of figuring out what that means to me, and so as I travel this year, I know God will be leading me to people, places,, and experiences that will shape me more and more - as well as teaching me where my heart fits. As my heart sits in His hands, I know that He alone can mold and shape it to fit in the keyhole that requires the strength that is within this heart.
I’m in a war ... as are you....and I choose to fight it - 100% all out. I will not stop until my dying day, and no person will come in between me and the purpose and vision God has placed in me. I want to fight for something, to die for something, to lay down my life for something that requires all of me. Not just what I can do, or say, or be ... but all of me - from deep within. There is so much to me, and you, and so I urge you not to settle with where you’re at, but to push on for something higher and greater, to know yourself more and our Creator - so that at the end of each day, you can look back and say, today was a day well lived. I did everything I chose, and I chose everything I did. Nothing was unimportant. Everything makes a difference. Choices influence your life in which ever direction you choose. They are the most important thing that you have influence over, and they affect not just your life, but all the people around you.
I can’t live ‘the easy life’ - whatever that is to you. For me, I want to be busy, using all of my time - squeezing the life, experiences, and relationships out of the minutes, hours and days that I have to use. I will not run away from anything, but choose to take the path away from, through, or around the experiences that are not beneficial to whom I become.
I choose to run to God’s glory, the race that only I can run. Your race is different than mine, I hope you find your way, direction and passion - and use it to the full! I will not sit back and wait for life to happen to me, rather I will fight for what I believe in, and to find where my heart fits in this world, that it may unlock others’ destinies, hearts, and lives. I hope to be a light in this world. I’m in a season of figuring out what that means to me, and so as I travel this year, I know God will be leading me to people, places,, and experiences that will shape me more and more - as well as teaching me where my heart fits. As my heart sits in His hands, I know that He alone can mold and shape it to fit in the keyhole that requires the strength that is within this heart.
I’m in a war ... as are you....and I choose to fight it - 100% all out. I will not stop until my dying day, and no person will come in between me and the purpose and vision God has placed in me. I want to fight for something, to die for something, to lay down my life for something that requires all of me. Not just what I can do, or say, or be ... but all of me - from deep within. There is so much to me, and you, and so I urge you not to settle with where you’re at, but to push on for something higher and greater, to know yourself more and our Creator - so that at the end of each day, you can look back and say, today was a day well lived. I did everything I chose, and I chose everything I did. Nothing was unimportant. Everything makes a difference. Choices influence your life in which ever direction you choose. They are the most important thing that you have influence over, and they affect not just your life, but all the people around you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Breakthrough
I’ve been in a strange season of death. Haha, what a strange statement. But seriously. I’ve had a fly die in a drink almost as soon as it arrived, my two dogs both passed away in November and December - they were brother and sister (Ludwig [van Beethoven] and Mozart). But from death, there is always new birth, and God has been working with my vision of my life, making me question even the itty-bittiest aspects of my life. :) It’s quite exciting actually, as my mother says. :) But the stress of it is not easy - as you can imagine.
As I come through this tunnel into the light...yes there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, if you can wait to see it - I know deep within, I must keep my eyes on His. He alone sees the depths of my soul, spirit and all of me.
I’m watching “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2” right now, and there’s a seen where they’re cooking a meal, and he says “The down side is you never know how anything is going to turn out, but .. that’s kind of the upside.” Argh. That’s exactly how my life is right now. I am so used to God ordering all my steps, that making choices and decisions while trusting the Holy Spirit, and walking in the prophetic is not easy to explain to others, or myself as I make decisions that require dates and return tickets and all that jazz. I guess this is how most people feel through their lives? Or not.... or maybe most people just make decisions based on the moment, and don’t have to make life determining decisions, on a whim.
Anyway - enough philosophizing ... you can tell I’ve been thinking a lot. :P :) Not always a good thing
Death, to new birth. Spring time :) Well, Pastor Tom has spoken the word for Breakthrough, this year. So - it is quite fitting. For you to have breakthrough, requires that you break through some walls, and thus you get stronger, build character, leave things behind, and break through into new beginnings, paths, and essentially grow as a person. Not easy, but definitely exhilarating. What shall these new walls be ;) haha!
As I come through this tunnel into the light...yes there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, if you can wait to see it - I know deep within, I must keep my eyes on His. He alone sees the depths of my soul, spirit and all of me.
I’m watching “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2” right now, and there’s a seen where they’re cooking a meal, and he says “The down side is you never know how anything is going to turn out, but .. that’s kind of the upside.” Argh. That’s exactly how my life is right now. I am so used to God ordering all my steps, that making choices and decisions while trusting the Holy Spirit, and walking in the prophetic is not easy to explain to others, or myself as I make decisions that require dates and return tickets and all that jazz. I guess this is how most people feel through their lives? Or not.... or maybe most people just make decisions based on the moment, and don’t have to make life determining decisions, on a whim.
Anyway - enough philosophizing ... you can tell I’ve been thinking a lot. :P :) Not always a good thing
Death, to new birth. Spring time :) Well, Pastor Tom has spoken the word for Breakthrough, this year. So - it is quite fitting. For you to have breakthrough, requires that you break through some walls, and thus you get stronger, build character, leave things behind, and break through into new beginnings, paths, and essentially grow as a person. Not easy, but definitely exhilarating. What shall these new walls be ;) haha!
Walking, walking, walking. :)
This blog is a faith step into something new and different. Over the last few months my life has been changing and God has been shifting me and my mindset. This week I started reading “In His Steps”, and it has been an amazing few days of challenging my view on life and walking in Jesus’ steps, as a disciple. I hope you read it - but for those who won’t, it starts with a minister/preacher and his stuffy little congregation. Within the first chapter a homeless man comes in and speaks at the end of the sermon, much to everyone’s surprise, and then falls flat on his face before dying within the next couple days. This is at a time with the minister is thinking on what it means to be a disciple of Christ, and he begins to wonder ‘What would Jesus do?” in every situation. The following week he asks the congregation whether anyone else would like to join him in this endeavour. A few stay behind - and soon their lives unfold as the pages turn. You can imagine the changes in the newspaper as the editor questions ‘what to print’, and others have their decisions to make in their own lives.
Try it some time - I wanted to make the decision to do it, and God said “are you sure?” and so I tried, but I’m not good enough. My heart isn’t clean enough or soft enough, and it’s especially hard when people aren’t ‘nice’. But, I’m not good enough.
I’m not. and it’s really been hitting me. But then, nobody matches up anywhere near Christ, do they. I’ve just been noticing how far from the mark I am, and even my secular friends are challenging me with the things they’re doing - working with NGO’s and street kids and everything. I really want to get off my butt and do something, for once. Argh. and it’s eating me from the inside out, slowly. aArgh.yes that’s a word. :)
I want to do something with my life, and right now, being in Zimbabwe is making me feel very stagnant - something I never thought I’d say. Today we have a funeral/Celebration as we call it :) of Gugu - a young lady I knew from Champions 4 Life (organization for young people affected by HIV/AIDS). I hope to be there to play in the band. I remember sitting on the bus chatting of our lives, on our way back from Bulawayo Camp, last year - an amazing experience. I can’t believe she’s gone. I know she’s in a better place, but it hurts to see her face in my mind’s eye. oh I miss her. always so cheery and life-filled. always chatting with somebody. :) Miss you, Gugu.
I’m reading all these stories in “In His Steps” wondering how I’m going to make my difference in this world. One woman has the most beautiful voice, and is sought after by the National Opera House, but she turns it down, because she doesn’t think it’s what Jesus would do, in her own opinion. (not sure that I agree). But she decides to create a music school in the slums of the city of Raymond - giving lessons to the less fortunate. Me? I can see myself doing that - but at the same time, my heart isn’t in teaching. Doesn’t anyone get that? I do. I don’t want to teach - I’m just doing it for everybody who wants to learn music, because I have those skills - but there’s so much more to me, and I don’t really feel as if it’s actually drawing from anything deep in me - I feel like ‘anybody’ can do what I’m doing - and I want to do MORE.
Haha... reminded of a book (“Holy Discontent”) I gave a good friend, when I left Westmont - about frustration .. .and how anger and frustration, can be turned into passionate energy, and used well, when directed in the right direction. The author - Bill Hybels - actually talks about putting yourself into those situations that frustrate you - maybe it’s about being around homeless people, or abused children, or injured animals - whatever it is that makes you discontent. It’s a good book, too :).
Well, that’s just the tip of the iceberg of some of the thoughts I’m working through in my life - I don’t think I have many relationships right now where we talk about these kind of topics, but I know you few would enjoy this. :) bless u all. my dear friends :).
Try it some time - I wanted to make the decision to do it, and God said “are you sure?” and so I tried, but I’m not good enough. My heart isn’t clean enough or soft enough, and it’s especially hard when people aren’t ‘nice’. But, I’m not good enough.
I’m not. and it’s really been hitting me. But then, nobody matches up anywhere near Christ, do they. I’ve just been noticing how far from the mark I am, and even my secular friends are challenging me with the things they’re doing - working with NGO’s and street kids and everything. I really want to get off my butt and do something, for once. Argh. and it’s eating me from the inside out, slowly. aArgh.yes that’s a word. :)
I want to do something with my life, and right now, being in Zimbabwe is making me feel very stagnant - something I never thought I’d say. Today we have a funeral/Celebration as we call it :) of Gugu - a young lady I knew from Champions 4 Life (organization for young people affected by HIV/AIDS). I hope to be there to play in the band. I remember sitting on the bus chatting of our lives, on our way back from Bulawayo Camp, last year - an amazing experience. I can’t believe she’s gone. I know she’s in a better place, but it hurts to see her face in my mind’s eye. oh I miss her. always so cheery and life-filled. always chatting with somebody. :) Miss you, Gugu.
I’m reading all these stories in “In His Steps” wondering how I’m going to make my difference in this world. One woman has the most beautiful voice, and is sought after by the National Opera House, but she turns it down, because she doesn’t think it’s what Jesus would do, in her own opinion. (not sure that I agree). But she decides to create a music school in the slums of the city of Raymond - giving lessons to the less fortunate. Me? I can see myself doing that - but at the same time, my heart isn’t in teaching. Doesn’t anyone get that? I do. I don’t want to teach - I’m just doing it for everybody who wants to learn music, because I have those skills - but there’s so much more to me, and I don’t really feel as if it’s actually drawing from anything deep in me - I feel like ‘anybody’ can do what I’m doing - and I want to do MORE.
Haha... reminded of a book (“Holy Discontent”) I gave a good friend, when I left Westmont - about frustration .. .and how anger and frustration, can be turned into passionate energy, and used well, when directed in the right direction. The author - Bill Hybels - actually talks about putting yourself into those situations that frustrate you - maybe it’s about being around homeless people, or abused children, or injured animals - whatever it is that makes you discontent. It’s a good book, too :).
Well, that’s just the tip of the iceberg of some of the thoughts I’m working through in my life - I don’t think I have many relationships right now where we talk about these kind of topics, but I know you few would enjoy this. :) bless u all. my dear friends :).
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